Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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