so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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