Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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