I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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