**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So squirting runs in the family.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
