Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
