Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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