You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
