i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize