She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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