I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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