Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
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jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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