There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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