Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
