You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
