I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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