The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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