I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize