Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
