Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
being pregnant is like rehab
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
