That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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