For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
