Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
