I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
