we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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