I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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