Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize