fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize