Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
