oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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