There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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