Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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