Kiss
Puke
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
