y did u give ur computer a hand job?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
