So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize