Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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