the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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