so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
