Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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