Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Banned from zoo.
Again?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
