I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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