I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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