Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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