I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
