you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
