I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
