Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
