I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize