my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
