are you still at the devil's house?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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