i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
