Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
