I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize