Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Randomize
