dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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