Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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