My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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