Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
