he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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