so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
