Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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