am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
