so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
